'I hate being this responsible': Parents of 7 rely on 16-year-old to support their family, force him to help with an 8th child

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Helping out with your siblings is part of growing up, but only to an extent. Sure, you can pitch in every now and then and help babysit when your folks need you to. They are family, after all. But when it becomes a whole other job, then that's when it becomes an issue. 

The best thing about being a kid is that you don't have any responsibilities. You don't have anyone to take care of, no bills to pay, and only have to focus on school. You don't have the weight of supporting a family or a household on your back. But some kids aren't so lucky. Because of their parents' choices, or by pure circumstance, some kids end up growing up a lot faster than they should. That's what happened to one Redditor who shared his story about growing up in a big family, and how the pressure of another child became too much to bear. Read on for the story and see what commenters had to say.

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    AITA for what I said when my parents announced they were having another baby?
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    My parents have 7 kids. There's me (16m), Cayla (13f), Robin (12m), Sam (10m), Laci (8f), Zoe (6f) and Robbie (4m). They only ever intended to have two kids and even with me and Cayla alone, they'd still struggle. My parents don't have great jobs. We never had much space in our
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    house to begin with and now we're all crammed in. I started working at 13 to get money so I could pay for stuff I needed, like a laptop, which I didn't have access to when my school first shut down. We didn't even have internet then. My parents swore they were done with Robbie and
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    they'd get us back on track and that I wouldn't need to work just to pay for stuff I needed for school. The weight of being the oldest is already a lot and I have paid for stuff before. I babysit so my parents can work nights or get a break. I take care of the
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    house most days so they can focus on earning money. But it's a lot and we're really too big of a family for what we can actually afford. My parents get help from the government but it doesn't go far because they're not good with money or with buying groceries.
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    When no baby came right after Robbie I thought they were serious and I started to think about my future. I'd love to learn to cook better and work in a restaurant. Not college exactly because we could never afford it and my grades aren't good enough but something.
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    Then Monday my parents sat us down and told us they're having another baby and mom is like 14 weeks pregnant. They knew for 7 weeks and didn't want to tell us until they were ready. My siblings were mostly surprised but me? I said not again. I think I even cried a little which caught me off guard because I'm not a crier usually.
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    This was apparently enough to break me though. My parents got so angry at me and told me to check my attitude. I told them they gave me this attitude by being so reckless and putting so much on me and now they've broken their promise and we're going to struggle even more than before. They told me to stop
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    acting like they're doing something to me, that accidents happen and they'd never abort, even if they could. They told me to focus on making things okay and less on being so negative.
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    I know people say that having money isn't as important as long as you have a loving family and maybe that's true for some people. But mine feel like a weight I have to carry and not something I'm blessed with. They're a responsibility on me, a
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    burden really. And maybe that's awful to say but it's how I really feel. I hate worrying about what'll happen if they can't afford the bills or if my laptop breaks and I can't afford to fix it or get a new one. Or what if we can't afford food or we can but I have to pay for groceries instead of save.
    via u/DependentLeave3584
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    • happybanana134 · 4 hr. ago NTA. Your feelings are perfectly reasonable. You still need to think about your future; don't let their decision to have another child de-rail you. Keep saving. Groceries are NOT your responsibility.
    via u/happybanana134
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    DependentLeave3584 OP . 3 hr. ago They're not but we do need to be able to eat.
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    FruitParfait 3 hr. ago Then it's time to call protective services that the kids are starving at home and going without basic necessities. You're not required at all to provide for them, especially as a minor. Pocket all your money you get from working. You'll need it when you flee at 18.
    via u/FruitParfait
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    Labradawgz90 3 hr. ago • NTA-You need to call CPS. Your parents don't have enough money to take care of their kids. You should NOT be helping. If they can't take care of their kids without your help, then you need to call CPS. What if you or someone else in your family is in an
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    accident, comes down with a medical illness? What will happen then? You need to get help now. If you are struggling now, it can only take a moment before things come crashing down. Please, call CPS.
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    DependentLeave 3584 OP 3 hr. ago CPS called to us before and set us up with resources. My parents are just really bad with making them work for us.
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    econhistoryrules · 3 hr. ago NTA. Jesus how does this happen to people in the 21st century? "Accidents happen?" Are you kidding me?
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    DependentLeave3584 OP. 3 hr. ago By not being responsible. Things like "forgetting" to go out and get the birth control and "forgetting" to take it.
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    • alphabetacheetah · 4 hr. ago Nta you're very responsible for a 16 year old so kudos for that
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    DependentLeave3584 OP. 3 hr. ago I hate being this responsible. I wish I didn't care and could just focus on me.
    via u/DependentLeave3584

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